new beginning

Changes are always to be expected. As the cliche goes, the only permanent thing in this world is change. Although change is to be expected, still we can fall into the comfort of the familiar and the usual, especially if the current situation is already cozy enough to settle in. We hoped that we can hold onto that comfort for so long even if we already knew when such situation ends and a new chapter begins.

Such happens when an ideal working situation and the combination of great co-workers have been established for four short years, and then it has to end at the expected time frame.  Promises of upcoming work opportunities under the same management have been made with only a short waiting period, also known as "vacation time", before the next awesome project begins.

And yet, as expected of changes, it happens. There are delays to the awarding of new projects and therefore jobs. There are a number of possible reasons why the "vacation time" has to extend indefinitely, making Christmas vacation a double-edged holiday. There are no deadlines to meet, reports to submit, presentations to show. But there are also no Christmas bonuses and 13th month pays to spend for the usual holiday gifts and party dresses. And then a nasty feeling of insecurity slowly creeps in though you try hard to shake it away.

My vacation time has been extended for almost five months now and this is a real cause for restlessness. Maybe it is time to stop waiting for the next big break and begin creating the opportunity that would really take me through the long term. Maybe this is the change that was destined to hit me so I will be compelled to rise above this situation and reinvent myself.

This takes a lot of courage to acknowledge the situation I am in and move forward. It takes a lot of humility also to start from scratch. This then takes me to the realm of what I really wanted to do a long time ago --- writing to express, painting, spend time with my family, do crafts, own my time, force myself to develop my business skills and whatever worthwhile doing in this short life.